Most hilarious review ever
Courtesy CAAF at Tingle Alley, about George R.R. Martin’s new doorstop fantasy novel, A FEAST OF CROWS:
There are lots of intelligent things could be written about the involved geopolitics of Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, or about how religion is continuously invoked in the books but serves a largely ceremonial and political purpose (more Elizabeth I, less Rumi), but all this will have to wait because GEORGE, WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE NIPPLES?
A Feast for Crows has to be the most nippletastic book I’ve read since, oh, Candy. It felt like not a page went by that a pair wasn’t being pinched, suckled, eyed, prized, fondled, lopped off (seriously) or otherwise palpated. Boys’ nipples, girls’ nipples, big brown nipples, fulsome nipples, nipples like black diamonds, lactating nipples, male pepperoni-style nipples. All kinds of nipples. It makes me wonder if a retread of Lord of the Rings isn’t in order, with 100% more detail on the hobbit nipples.
This may turn off some readers, but I suspect it’ll bring a fair share of new ones….