Good Morning Ya’ll

Good morning everyone, glad to be here as Sarah’s guest. Sarah, thanks for the great intro. I laughed at the coverboy line — anyone who could see me now, blithering, bed-headed and bleary in a Sacrmento hotel room would beg to differ! On the other hand, I am writing in my underwear…

And David M, I thought we agreed *no* heckling! 😉

Last night marked the official end of the Killing Rain tour. I’ll take a leisurely drive back today, stopping at various bookstores along the way. This was the longest tour yet — it started on June 23 and encompassed nearly 30 cities. Along the way I found myself thining of… well, of bullshit.

There’s a new book by the cash registers in pretty much every bookstore: it’s called On Bullshit. Catchy title. I flipped through it, but decided it looked a little abstruse for me. Still, I think I recognize bullshit when I see (or hear) it, and there seems to be a fair amount out there. Remember when President Bush described Iraq as a “catastrophic success?” Unless you’re hopelessly partisan, a line like that ought to light up your bullshit meter. If you had a family member who was being operated on, and the doctor came out and announced that the operation was a catastrophic success, what would you expect? And how would you feel?

Then there was Director of Central Intelligence Porter Goss, testifying to Congress that “It may be only a matter of time before al Qaeda or another group attempts to use chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear weapons.” Sounds like Goss is saying WMD use is inevitable, doesn’t it? Because, things that are only a matter of time aren’t subject to whether, only to when. It’s just a matter of time before we all die, for example. Simple statement of fact. So my first reaction was, damn, man, why are we paying your salary and throwing a $30b intelligence budget your way on top of it if we’re sure to get nuked anyway? Does your value lie simply in delaying the inevitable? Help me understand…

But then I thought about it more. Actually, Goss didn’t say WMD use was inevitable; he said it “may” be inevitable. But if something might be inevitable, then it might not be, no? Which is just a convoluted way of saying that the thing certainly isn’t inevitable. Is that what Goss meant?

With this kind of bullshit, it’s hard to know what Goss meant. But my best guess is, he chose his words deliberately: on the surface, he predicts inevitability, so when the attack happens, he can say he predicted it (which would be a great comfort to the nation at that point, no doubt). But if he ever decides it’s politically useful to backtrack, he can focus on that “may” word, instead.

It kills me that no one in Congress called him on this. But maybe that’s the problem with pervasive bullshit: you get habituated, and it turns into background noise.

On the road, I saw a sign in a video store window: “Sin City, Available Now!” Cool, I thought, I could see that Mickey Rourke sequence again in a heartbeat. The perfect way to unwind after a long day of signings. But when I got closer to the window, I saw another few words, in smaller lettering: “For preorder.” Available now for preorder? What does that mean? If it’s available now, I can buy and use it now! If I have to preorder it, well, that’s pretty much the definition of *not* available now, isn’t it?

I could go on, but maybe I ought to post this and get some coffee (you’re thinking, “Maybe you should have had the coffee earlier,” I know…). I’ll pop into a Starbucks or some other place with an Internet connection later today with a few more thoughts, if ya’ll can stand it…

See you in a bit,

Barry