Because I wanted to share the brain cell-losing power

I read this last night. I laughed my ass off. I read it again the morning. Same reaction. Oh, dear Paris Hilton, so rich with the one liners! So scintillating with her comments! Like this one:

AP: What did you want to be when you were a little girl?

Hilton: A veterinarian, but then I realized I could just buy a bunch of animals.

Or this one:

AP: What’s your favorite horror movie?

Hilton: I like a lot of the old, creepy classics like the Freddy Kruger movies and The Shining. Jack Nicholson is really scary.

Or even this one:

AP: So what could you possibly do on Simple Life 4?

Hilton: Go to Maui.

AP: Why?

Hilton: They want to sex it up, have us more in swimsuits and stuff.

AP: But what would you do?

Hilton: I don’t know. We could work as lifeguards or work in a hotel or something.

AP: Baywatch tried that and it didn’t work.

Hilton: Tried what?

AP: They went from the United States to Hawaii, which I guess is technically the United States. Anyway, it didn’t work.

Hilton: (Silence.)

AP: So are you really a ditz?

Hilton: That’s just for the show.

There’s more, but I’d rather keep my head from properly exploding, after all.

In other vacuous celebrity news, what the hell is wrong with this picture?