Sing along with Richard Burke

The author of the psychological thriller FROZEN (and one of the nine debuting writers in Orion’s “New Blood” Campaign of early 2004) doesn’t just write books and produce documentaries; he also has a neat way with a lyric. And so, with his permission, I present what may well become a staple at mystery conventions in the wee hours. Set to the tune of Gilbert & Sullivan’s “I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General” (with special homage to Tom Lehrer’s “The Elements”) here is The Author Song:

(cue intro)

There’s O’Brien and O’Donnell,
and there’s Robinson and Richardson,
Evanovich and Ford and French,
and Dexter, Deaver, Donovan,

There’s Challis, Chandler, Conan Doyle,
and Cody, Cole and Chittenden,

(deep breath)
McDermid and McDowall, McBain,
McClendon, Mann and Berenson.

(interlude)

There’s Walters, Wheatley, Wilson,
and LaPlante, Lehane and Chri-istie,

There’s Blake and Block and Booth and Brett,
and Kernick, Crespi, Cre-easy,

And Duffy, Dibdin, Coben, Cornwell,
Cooper, Coughlin, Allingham,

And Burke and Burke and Burke and Burke,
from A to T and back again.

(interlude)

There’s Simenon and Sayers, Slaughter,
Snyder, Vine and Bo-onner,

Randisi, Rankin, Reichs and Rendell,
Kellerman and Co-onnor,

And Goddard, Gosling, Guttridge,
Gregson, Billingham and Anderson,

(deep breath)

And Holt and Hoag and Hall and Hill
and Hamilton and Henderson

(interlude)

There’s Stuart Davis, Moody, Munger,
Crais and Kijiewski,

And Hayder, Hayter, Holtzer, Jecks and James and Jakubowski,

Baker, Archer Cohen,
Malmont, Miller, and Kaminski,

And Lippman, Tope and Gilstrap,
Reah, Rubino and Paretsky.

Some folks will have spotted that this isn’t comprehensive.
But if you want your name in here, it’s going to be expensive.

What can I say: I always did like a good lyric….