Screwing with the classics

Duane Swierczynski (who, sadly, did not get to appear on TV last night to talk about this new “beer and caffeine” monstrosity that Budweiser is trying to inflict on poor saps) recently went to the bookstore and leafed through the new Dean Koontz franchise novel, his “retelling” of FRANKENSTEIN. And so, Duane got to thinking and came up with what would be an incredibly cool idea:

What if today’s best crime writers revisited the classics in a similar way? Screw copyright laws for a moment, and imagine with me the sublime joys of books like…

Ken Bruen’s Red Harvest

Jason Starr’s They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?

Allan Guthrie’s Shoot the Piano Player

Jeffery Deaver’s The Bride Wore Black

Barry Eisler’s Casino Royale

Ray Banks’ Cockfighter

Karin Slaughter’s The Killer Inside Me

Victor Gischler’s The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Joe Lansdale’s The Postman Always Rings Twice

Donna Moore’s The Lady in the Morgue

Man, I think Koontz is on to something here.

All I know is, I get dibs on IN A LONELY PLACE, and thus open the floor: if you could rewrite a classic, which book would you choose and why?