Department of WTF, the pop culture version

It’s a slow news day and frankly, there’s just so many head scratching articles lately that I have to link to at least a few of them.

First, there’s the “inevitable” next step for The Donald. He’s conquered business (pesky bankruptcies excepted) and network television so…why not Broadway?

Scary as it might sound, people could one day be whistling "You’re Fired" down Broadway.

That’s because Donald Trump, the billionaire who boasts about the art of the deal, and Mark Burnett, the producer of "The Apprentice," are talking about a musical version of the reality show for the stage.

Somewhere David Merrick is spinning in his grave.

"There’s a tremendous buzz about it in Broadway circles," Trump said yesterday. "I just want a reincarnation of Cary Grant to play me. I don’t care if he can act, just as long as he looks good."

Burnett, who also produces "Survivor," is writing the book for "The Apprentice: The Musical."

Bloody hell. "Dire" does not begin to cover it. Never mind that there’s a perfectly good musical about business already out there, so why not just go see that again and get "Coffee Break" or "I Believe in You" stuck in your heads?

Next up: Anna Wintour’s the subject of a salacious biography (though it seems this news gets reported, like, every other week.) But the bit everyone’s talking about is her affair with…Bob Marley?

In "Front Row: The Cool Life and Hot Times of Vogue’s Editor in Chief," due next month from St. Martin’s, Jerry Oppenheimer recounts how in the late ’70s, Wintour’s pal, Island Records founder Chris Blackwell, introduced the fashionista to Marley and got her a backstage pass to one of Marley’s shows in New York. She immediately "fell for" the pot-smoking musician.

She was "riveted" and acted as if she’d "met God," one friend tells Oppenheimer, who reports she "virtually disappeared for a week" while notorious womanizer Marley was in town, spending all her time backstage.

When Wintour finally resurfaced, she looked utterly worn out from her exertions with the rasta legend, but denied to friends she’d spent the week in Marley’s bed. Pals didn’t buy it and assumed she merely wanted to keep him to herself.

Cannot…wrap…my…head…around….this. Brain may explode. So let’s move onto the last bit:

Dan Rather’s about to retire. Though we’ll all miss his hilariously overblown election night aphorisms, too many mistakes and angry bloggers were too much for the legendary anchorman to overcome. So who’s being tapped as a potential replacement? None other than…Jon Stewart?

"We have to try and reinvent that," [CBS Chief Les Moonves] said. "One of the ways we’re looking at is making it younger and more relevant, something that younger people can relate to as opposed to that guy preaching from the mountaintop about what we should and should not watch."

Asked twice, Moonves wouldn’t rule out a role on the evening news for Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart, whose "The Daily Show" skewers politicians and the news media each night. Moonves is co-chief executive of Viacom, which owns both CBS and Comedy Central.

OK, obviously the whole Jon Stewart thing is a bit of a reach, considering he did just sign a new four-year deal with Comedy Central to stick around as THE DAILY SHOW’S main guy. But as Gawker points out, the whole fake news thing is getting rather old, espec if Stewart’s name turns up for any other news jobs. (Why didn’t CNN just get him to host the relaunched CROSSFIRE? Oh wait, that show’s dead now. My bad.)

Anyway, unless some big news turns up later this afternoon, see you back tomorrow, when I might even forget to mention Curtis Sittenfeld.