Donna Moore Appreciation Day

Yeah, yeah I’m late, considering I came up with the idea in the first place, but then again, this post stays at the top of the blog till Sunday morning. So there.

Aside from the fact that Donna is gorgeous, funny and owns a shoe collection that puts most of us to shame, she’s also wicked talented and her upcoming book, GO TO HELENA HANDBASKET, isn’t just a wonderful sendup of all cliches, crime fiction-style, but it was also written in a month. I’d be jealous except that you can’t really be of good talent and sharp writing, especially when you’re too busy clutching your stomach in convulsive laughter (read her double Nevermore-winning entries for further proof of this)

If you missed her stint guest-blogging for me last summer, check out the archived posts here, here, and here.

Now, HELENA won’t be out till later on this year, but how do the starring characters feel about being included in Donna’s masterwork? For their thoughts, click below…

“Of all the run-down, flea-bitten private detective offices in all the UK, Donna Moore had to find mine. I was minding my own business-well, that’s not strictly true but the less said about that the better(anyway, I got rid of the binoculars afterwards and the blind man said he wouldn’t press charges)-when she waltzed into my office and asked if I wanted to be in a book. “I dunno,” I said. “I’m a big girl. It would have to be a very, very large book.“”  Helena Handbasket

“Sure is a jingle-brained tale of dipsy doodle. Helena, dollface, hope everything’s jake. Gotta take a powder, sweetface. If you catch any rumble, get me on the blower.” Fifi Fofum, Psycho Sidekick

“Dahlink Donna, if you die in tragic accident, you haf my promise to autopse you. I find room for you in my shiny drawers.” Katya Fallingstar, Mortician

“Y’all alright, y’all, Miss Moore? Hope y’all’s alright. Y’all’s not alright? Ma’am? Y’all’s alright after all. All right, y’all.” Special Agent Art Ifarti

“Moore have could given lessons me grammar.” Virgil the Cat “

Aye, fine, I’m nae real, but more’s to the point, can Miss Moore tell us whit she was doin’ at three AM on Thursday 2nd October 1973? No, I didnae think so. Ye cannae pull the wool over ma eyes, missy.” Chief Inspector Angus Beef

“Will you stop browbeating me! It’s horrible of you to suggest that I’m a fictional character. Oh, okay. If you will persist, then yes I am but there’ s no way I’m going to admit it to you and I certainly won’t write it down and sign it. You’re such a bully. Do you have a pen?” Miss Emma Roids, Secretary to Justin Case

“Donna Moore, eh? Slim, mid-twenties, natural redhead? Hubba, hubba. Lass, if you’re listening, your luck’s in. Play your cards right and you could be Mrs Litosis within the week. If not, maybe Katya might let me rummage in her shiny drawers. I’ll definitely let her rummage in mine.” Hal Litosis, Gigolo

(thanks to a little birdie for passing these on)