She probably thought that’s what they do at the Canadian border

Nicolas Cage’s new wife, Alice Kim, is, I grant, rather young, and who knows what they are or aren’t teaching the kiddies in school these days. But even though it’s probably not cricket to mock people for their ignorance, I couldn’t help it after reading this item:

Somebody get Nicolas Cage’s new wife, Alice, an American history book — and quick! Spies at the L.A. premiere of “National Treasure” last week said Alice, 20, seemed befuddled when someone talked to her about the Declaration of Independence.“She looked at them and said, ‘What is the Declaration of Independence?’“our witness relates — an account confirmed by another attendee. Cage, 40, quickly came to the rescue and said, “I’m sorry — please don’t ask my wife any history questions.”

No word on whether Kim could answer questions about the identity of the men engraved on Mount Rushmore or how long her marriage is scheduled to last. But the best part has to go to Cage’s publicist Annett Wolff as she desperately tries to save face on the whole incident:

“I am sure Alice knows about the Declaration of Independence and they could not be more in love or happy.”

No question: that’s a job I would never, ever want.