Miss Marple gets a past; others unimpressed

The news that BBC television is reviving the Miss Marple series was met with delight–till the news broke that the stories would be “updated” and the sleuth made to be rather more modern than Dame Agatha intended–that is, she got to have sex back in the day. Naturally, people are doing their best imitation of an uproar, and the Hindustan Times gets in on the act by polling some other beloved detectives for their reactions:

Perry Mason (to secretary Della Street): Heck, Della, this is shocking. Romance for that old dame who does nothing but knit sweaters! Look at us. We’re young and attractive. I have also kissed you in half-a-dozen novels and proposed marriage, but you refused, only to keep the series going. Why don’t Brit TV channels make a film on us instead?

Sherlock Holmes (to Dr Watson): Watson, something’s not right here. I see Dr Moriarty’s hand in this. Imagine romance in the life of that biddy Jane Marple. Look at me, Watson. I don’t know how old I am, but I am fit as a fiddle and I also play the fiddle. Why can’t they make a TV film on my romantic life? I can be shown saving my heroine from the dreaded speckled band, she falls in love for me and then…

I dunno, guys–the way things are going, there’d probably be a slashfic version of Holmes & Watson that would appear on TV next time ’round….