Pay no attention to the author behind the curtain

So this Thursday, the first ever Descant Book Ball will take place in Toronto, where you can get really up close and personal with your favorite authors–by booking a private peep-show booth to see them:

The organizers of the first-ever Descant Book Ball, to be held Thursday, have concocted a truly unusual fundraising scheme to support CanLit. For a nominal fee, guests will be escorted to a private peep-show salon, where the ball’s organizers promise they’ll get “up-close and personal” with their favourite artist or literary figure.

Sounds scintillating and steamy, but Descant managing editor Mary Newberry hastens to add that the artist/guest interaction will be strictly professional.

For $20, fans will get five to 10 minutes of one-on-one time with their CanLit idol of choice, say, a private reading from novelist Russell Smith, a personal sketch from illustrator Laurie McGaw, or take part in a sexually liberating video and poetry experiment with Louise Bak, co-host of The Box reading salon and host of the FM radio show Sex City (which explores sexuality in contemporary culture).

“It’ll be up to the artist’s discretion to decide what they read or offer,” says Newberry, whose quarterly journal that publishes new and established contemporary writers and visual artists from Canada and around the world, is celebrating its 35th birthday.

Crap. The one time I’m out of town for something I really kinda want to go to…although to be honest, I hope none of the participating writers try to lap-dance. The results could be rather embarrassing. Especially if anyone has a camera handy…