The Pilot episode of a new Fox Reality Special

LIT WARS: WHEN CRITICS ATTACK

In the left corner: Dale Peck, Hatchet man and guerilla book critic;

In the right corner: Stanley Crouch, cranky jazz critic who doesn’t take harsh words very well.

Previous skirmish: Peck eviscerates Crouch’s novel in The New Republic a few years back; Crouch fights back, calling Peck a “troubled queen” who has, shall we say, ego issues.

Current skirmish: Peck eats lunch at Tartine with a fellow writer. Crouch approaches. He shakes Peck’s hand, and then “smack[s] him in the face, saying ‘if you ever did anything like that [presumably referring to the review] again, it’ll be much worse.’”

Outcome: From cordiality to cruelty in one fell swoop. Ouch! No word on whether assault charges will be filed.

Next episode: Richard Ford and Colson Whitehead duke it out in the boxing ring. Further episodes will be announced at a later date.

(link, and half the phrases, stolen from Gawker.)